Sunday, September 19, 2010

Send the kiddies to another room mateys, this is a grown up post

It's that time again folks. International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Think of all the fun you could have at the range. Muskets, blackpowder everywhere, the air filled with the chat of pirate speak.

Grab your firearms, and whatever tools you might need. (The Craftmatic Adjustable Wench might come in handy). Then, enjoy a day where you can pepper yer conversation with such fun comments as ‘avarst me hearties’ an' ‘keel haul th' plank’.

The most simple gun range pleasantries become so much more interesting with pirate talk.
For example:

Brigid: Can you come over after the shoot for some fine food?

Pirate translation: Avast ye scurvy weasels. Get below deck and peel me some taters fer grub

Shooting friends: Sadly no, thanks ever so much, but we have a long drive home.

Pirate Translation : Stick it in yer maggoty gob, ye salty sea hag.


Then enhance your day with Top Ten Pirate Pick Up Lines -

10. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

9. Come on up and see me urchins.

8. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

7. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

6. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

5. Well blow me down.

4. Let's get together and haul some keel

And my favorites

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Prepare to be boarded

and the #1 pick up line for Lady Pirates?

1. Pants off NOW!

Have fun mateys. I'm off to practice some cutlass malfunction drills this afternoon if I can find my parrot. (Probably hiding in the IDPA box).


  1. Nice salty post, but I'm a little disappointed that you didn't work my personal favorite Pirate term "bilge rats" into the post.
    Maybe next time. I'm off to sharpen my boarding pistol/cutlass.

  2. International Talk like a Pirate Day! The day when every man can safely call any woman a Wench! Oh, joy!

    Of course, there are the derivatives - Scurvy Wench. Comely Wench. I'd rather drink bilge water than...Wench. I'll report back later, if I survive!

    Avast - I'd like to shiver her timbers!

    Does your parrot say "Polly wanta crack at 'er!"?

    I asked a pirate with an eye-patch if he'd seen Brigid, and he said "Aaargh, No, but I'll keep an eye out for her!"

  3. That may be the heartiest and most spontaneous laughing I've done over a blog post in quite a while. Letterman will never post that top 10 list.

    Now I've got to feed the scurvy dog, flog my live-in wench and look for a mainbrace to splice because somewhere on the seven seas it is already after five o'clock.

  4. Arrggh!

    "Dig, me lads, dig! Chests o' gold await ye!

    "Crossbones? Why d'ye think Roger be so Jolly?

    (And the classic):
    "Surrender yer Booty!"

    Now below decks with ye, me Bonny lass (Anne Bonny, that is...)

  5. Every ITLAPD, I remember I dated a comely wench (a redhead!), who was issued an eyepatch at her opthamologist's office, to complete the exam. She immediately sported same, declared, "The Pirate Eye Exam!", then, read the chart, one eye covered, "Ay, Arrgh!". The eyedoc's reaction was to fall on the floor, laughing. She, also carried a micro-Kimber .45, in a bellyband, situated just below her
    'chest area', but, that's another story...

  6. Oh my gosh, here I am out on the high seas and you're the first I've heard mention the Talk Like a Pirate Day thing today. I'll have to go get 'em going! Right now we are just out here dodging hurricanes, not pirates!

  7. #1 wouldn't work for Rob Allen ...

  8. Brigid, I just discovered your blog from DanontheRock's list. What a pleasant surprise. I'll be sharing with my friends.

  9. Brigid,

    Being from the plains, I can't say I am up on my "Piratese". Racking my old brain for something witty..... Nope. Nuttin. Sad to say, but this is a common occurance.

    Uff Da.

    Go Vikes! Hey, weren't the Vikings the original pirates? Black Beard should count himself lucky he never ran into Erik the Red. He may have clobbered BB with lutefisk.


  10. Argghh! Scurvy bilge rats have boarded the good blog Brigid! General Quarters, ye grog sots and mind ye keep yer powder dry! Half-rations until ye can keep a civil tongue in yer midden-mouths!

    Keel-haulin's a waste of good rope fer the like of ye!

    Nobody said anything about walking the plank. Yet.

  11. off the starboard be a boat of wenches.... prepare to board

  12. My kids enjoy playing pirates and talking pirates too. And I love it when they do that with their pirate costumes and all. Come to think of it, it's because of that, that I let them take self defense classes. Letting learn that kind of wraps up the whole package.

  13. Avast! I completely missed it this year! We were up for family weekend at The Girl's school and I just lost track of other events. It was a good weekend, until a few hours after we got home and had to have a dog put to sleep.

  14. Every pirate is ready for a booty surrender after a successful pillage 'n plunder - I know this only because I married one.


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